Quit Being a B***h, Man!

The word ‘bitch’ is very commonplace in the everyday language of society. It has many different meanings, but they all have the same underlying connotation.

“You bitch!”

“Quit bitching!”

“Why are you acting like a bitch?”

This word is undeniably gendered, and when used, it’s typically in a demeaning and/or degrading fashion. It’s well known, if you’re a male, that this is something you do not want to be labeled as. Because, what is the most absurd, belittling thing you can do to devalue a heterosexual male? That’s right, compare him to a female.

Soraya Chemaly ask us to do a simple test illustrating gender inequality through language by asking:

“how many boys do you know who would willingly and gleefully trade genders or want to grow up to be like a woman? How many ways, in how many languages, is it acceptable to insult a person by calling them some variation of "girl" or "woman"?”

I’ve wrote on the power of words before, and we all know what a divisive tool they can be to use.

The other day I was riding in the car with an acquaintance that identifies as female. I stated an emotional expression about the conversation taking place, and her rebut was: “you’re a bitch.” Now, regardless of the manner this was said in, it is obvious what its intent was; which was to say, “You’re not being a man” (sigh!).

This is what we’ve been taught by our culture; that natural *human* expression is perceived as relative to our biology. Emotions are controlled by our preconscious automatic thinking. The beliefs we hold about ourselves, and social norms, determine how we interpret these situations.

Socially constructed ideas about *human* roles are detrimental to humanity in many ways. The way we structure our perceptions of reality, are shaped by the language we use.

I’m a man, who is confident in the use of his emotional expression. It may not be perfect or even on par, because I have been taught my whole life that these feelings I get in any given situation -- I must stuff down, and hide. I’m working on being able to let these emotions flow freely now, and identifying them as they come in order to process them.

Each time we reference a man with the word ‘bitch’ we’re not only reinforcing to him that he shouldn’t act ‘feminine,’ with the message being feminine is less, but also, he shouldn’t act human.

We must break out of these stereotypical boxes that society has constructed for us to fit into, because they limit us from our full capacity as humans.

Check out Texas Association Against Sexual Assault’s “Break The Box” Campaign: www.causes.com/breakthebox