The Process of "Stepping Out of the Box" through Imagery

This picture was taken in August of, 2006 at Minute Maid Park in Houston. It was the first time i'd ever been there, but there was another first I got to witness as well - Andy Pettit's first career home run!



It was definitely a very male dominated atmosphere, and I went with 4 other males. If you notice my posture - it's upright, chest out, eyes straight into the camera, and no emotion on my face. Which to many would be considered the norm. I just reverted to looking through all my facebook friends and the majority of the pictures were very similar to this photo, in that there was hardly any expression on the faces of the men. Men are taught as they grow up not to express emotions or show feelings. There were also a couple with hands up in the air, and a couple of guys working out. There were only a few pictures of just guys that carried smiles, but the majority of the guys expressing any kind of joy, or emotion were accompanied by a female or a child. As Jackson Katz says, "being a so called "real man" you have to take on this "Tough Guise" in other words, you have to show the world only certain parts of yourself that the dominant culture has defined as manly"
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3exzMPT4nGI) - I would say especially if alone. I think it's so ingrained into the male mentality that when acting out this "tough guise" it is seldom consciously. Imagery plays a huge part on our perceptions of what it means to "be a man" growing up as a boy. It also portrays views of what norms are to be "a woman" to our little girls. Through various forms including TV, Magazines, Video's, Cell Phones, Computers, Advertisement, Games, etc.

I took this picture about two years later, I would say 6 months in on educating myself on traditional beliefs, attitudes, & behaviors about social norms and what it means to be a man & how these beliefs affect women. In this picture, I seem rather unsure of how to feel about myself. I had just dyed my hair, which typically isn't looked at as a "man" thing to do. Although, I starting dying my hair in high school. There is a little bit of expression trying to come out, but seems to cease at the point of uncertainty.
As a man, going against traditional beliefs of what it means to "be a man" can be a very difficult. Gender codes are rarely noticed until broken, then they get ridiculed to the extent that it's easier not to go against them. Whether suble or blatant conformity through imagery is very present, via gender display. If you notice in the picture that i'm in a more passive position; looking up at the camera & seemingly powerless; which would be considered a feminine pose by norms, although it's merely a photo.

This last photo was taken in the summer of 2009. As you can see I look quiet relaxed, have a smile on my face, and enjoying life. (Note: I was at a car show which had a dominant male popluation, and along with a male dominated atmosphere.)
The difference in this photo is that it's lacking the essential "guise" that seems to be incorporated into men and displayed in the first photo. With about two years of self-examination and making conscious change I can say I've stepped out of the traditional "man box" feeling like a complete different person. Trying to live up to traditional masculinity was a weight on my shoulders that I didn't even realize was accompanying me in everyday life. By stepping out of the box, it doesn't mean that you can't still participate in regular activities. Simply, just observe your behaviors, don't repress emotions, and don't accept other men's negative behaviors - especially towards women. If you watched the youtube video by Jackson Katz, (posted above) you're aware of what box I'm talking about stepping out of. Posture, could also be considered as a front that men may feel they have to put on. I think the most contempary term for it would be "hard." If you look in advertisements, the men's posture & poses mostly portray this same sort of "guise" no matter what form it takes place. (strong, assertive, dominant, powerfull, in control etc.)

Imagery can be beautiful, and often is. Whether home made photo's or picture in a magazine, the images they display can be wonderful to the eyes. We have to understand that images also have a damaging affects as well. We're often oblivious to the fact of images portraying negativity, because they're so normalized in society. So, I urge you - look past what you're actually looking at when it comes to images, specifically adverstisement and any imagery that sexualizes & objectifies women!


http://www.stepupagainstviolence.com/

"It's only Words"

They can come from a fascinating verse in a song, or even the whole chorus. They can be a line out of a poem or in a movie that makes your heart melt, and sends a tingly feeling over your body. They can even be more influential with a beat in the background that makes your blood pump rapidly, and makes you want to jump up & down or throw your hands in the air. Sometimes, they even come from the person sitting beside you, and create chills that crawl down your arms, make your hairs stand up on the back of your neck, or even bring a tear to your eye.
A lot of people would say, they don't affect us though.

Whether coming from an everyday conversation, a book, magazine, TV, or the radio - words & lyrics are constantly being projected into our ears, and minds. The messages that are most common, or the most normalized are also the ones we tend filter into our subconscious and leave them to stagnate, or resurface only to make relative to a present conversation. This is something that we're aware of when brought to our attention, but how often do we actually acknowledge them? Many of us let these messages sit in our filters too long and acclimate to become a part of our traditional mind-set. When is the last time you cleaned out your filter, and started over fresh?

Words are extremely powerful, and I can't stress the importance of that enough. Kids and even adults hear messages through lyrics on a daily basis. Given the majority of this era's life function is based around music - at work, home, in the car, or even out in the backyard on a nice day. Now days, kids even bring their I-Pods & MP3 players too school! We all have that one song we could listen to a million times over, but have you ever actually analyzed it further than from the meaning only incorporated to your own personal? But, again - they're only words, right? That is what I hear a lot, and yes they are only words. It's only words in the Bible that a Pastor preaches to us weekly as well and look how much of an impact scripture has had on people's lives for generations. Words are a crucial component in the developement of our beliefs. It's only words that were said to the 13 yr old boy in North Texas, that led him to feel so self-worthless he would take his own life. If "it's only words" - then how are they doing so much damage, how can they have so much force and power, if "it's only words"? Just to note, I'm not claiming that one line of a song, book, or a scene in a movie is going lead to an immediate simulation or cause of any single form of violence, but they do perpetuate it.

As the messages portrayed by words are reinforced to us daily by whatever apparent resource - (parents, teachers, coaches, music, media, TV, etc.) we become numb too them or in reverse they can completely take over our mentality. They become accepted as norms and facilitate our attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors towards whatever message is being relayed. It's like we're immune to the negative affects of our own language when being sent in form of lyrics, videos, TV, movies, media, and even people. In music we hear men mostly talking about women in sexual and objectifying ways! The XM top 20 on 20, includes "Sexy B****, by David Guetta ft. Akon" "How Low Can You Go, by Ludacris" "Good Girls Go Bad, by Cobra Starship" just to name a few of the many contemporary songs available. (Not denouncing older music sends the same sort of messages) Find the lyrics to any of these songs and you'll see how men have completely devalued & dehumanized women into sexual objects with words. It’s become so prevelant that some women are conditioned to fall into this ploy that their sexuality is what they're defined by. Lets just hope you haven't had to endure the viewing of any these videos, because they display objectification & sexism that coincides with the lyrics to extremes, and aids hindering ones thought process by normalization. Every time we hear a negative or degrading statement about or to a women (or anything) it becomes more "normal" to us. The problem with it becoming normal is we become desensitized to it & therefore it has no meaning. Often we don't realize that the belittling, repetitious words still have the same effects on our perceptions towards Women in our society! Also, we must realize that if consciously or even unconsciously we make a degrading, derogatory, or dehumanizing statement too or about a women, it gives the message to other's that it's acceptable - even if it's in a joking manner! When we humorize these notions, it minimizes the severity of the problem and how our perceptions reflects our attitudes & behaviors.

The children growing up in our society are taught that this kind of behavior is what it means to "be a man" or "be a woman". Typically blame is placed somewhere else, and responsibility is not accepted by an individual for occurrences that take place, but has no correlation with their own lives. Reality is, if we allow other's to act with misogynistic or violent outburst in our presence and do not intervene - then we're complicit in the negative effects of that behavior, no matter what form it's in.