A Challenge!

Boys develope their core beliefs at a very young age, and by the time they reach college they're concrete. To embrace a way of thinking that differs from your traditional thought process is a difficult task. Although, the only thing in life that remains constant is change. If we could get "young men" to realize that growth comes from changing oneself, it would make our work a lot easier. It's not easy though, and it's extremely challenging to change the perception of a young man that has belittled & degraded women all of his life, because either he felt they're inferior or because he just thinks that's the way it's supposed to be. I like a challenge, life is a challenge and my work is definitely a challenge, but I love it. "When we accept tough jobs as a challenge to our ability and wade into them with joy and enthusiasm, miracles can happen."-(Arland Gilbert) The topic, Sexual Assault Prevention- the typical question, "If a women is wearing a short skirt, is it her fault if she gets raped?" Response- from a male law enforcement officer, "She has to have some responsibility" So I have to think this guy is responding from his beliefs & values, because he's a seasoned veteran. I tried explaining to him the difference in risk reduction, and prevention when he told me he tells his daughter "risk reduction tools" all the time. When I tried to clarify his techniques as risk reduction; I immediately got a defensive response of "that's prevention". It took a lot not to reply in a defensive or aggressive way back to him and instead try to describe to him that what he considered to be prevention, was wrong. Another response- "If she's dressing like that, then she wants the attention and shouldn't dress like that to prevent it" See a pattern? "It's the women's fault" is what was implied in basically all responses (every where I go) whether subtle or blatant, it's still diverting responsibility back to women. This is aiding the idea that this is just a women's issue. So what if she wants attention? Who at some point in their life hasn't wanted some form of attention from another person? That doesn't make it acceptable, because of the need or want for attention- that they should be subject to Sexual Assault. Now I get back to where I started- this portrays "men" have a consistent belief system throughout their lives. No matter what age it's established at it tends to stay. The question - how do we break this typical pattern of a mindset that is ingrained into men? The answer - I'm still working towards on a daily basis! Everyone has different theories, ideas, and even curriculum that say "this is how to do it." So until we all get on the same page, we as men (NOT ALL) are hindering each other, and the women we’re trying to help!



Jeremy